Sunday, February 26, 2012

Tween + moving + 10 years old = problem solving



Ten years old... who wasn't too happy to leave her best friends behind... Plus new location, new school, new neighborhood, new friends... makes it even tougher...
In addition to anger, I also get some tears for not liking her new environment.

She started to say... "I don't like school". It has been bugging me since about 1 month ago. I have been listening to her, giving empathy, trying to find out what is it the real cause of that,... she still came home with tears.

I almost gave up. I'm so ready to e-mail her teacher and perhaps look for a professional help. I guess my creative, thinking out of the box gene kicks in.

I decided to ask her what she wants to do to make her "happier". She said... "no school". So I asked her if she meant for a different school or if she meant stay at home. She wants to stay at home with me...
"Sure...", I said. "But you also have to tell me what do you want to do when you stay at home. You can clean up the house, cook and you need to work because we have to make a living...."

Then the conversation starts around her skills, what is it that she can do to make a living. I gave her some options what she can do to find work and I asked her to think about it and tell me what's her decision, tomorrow.

I was worry... I'm not sure what's the outcome. But I think it's a good idea to involve her with problem solving rather than giving solutions...

Tomorrow afternoon I asked her... "So what is your decision..."
And she said "school".... And then I said "What are you going to do with new friends, new school...?" She thinks she could handle that part too...

Starting that day, she changed. No more tears on the way home and she looks happier. I guess I did the right thing... It works for me... so I thought I should share it in my blog...

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